The Battle with Nic

So, money is an ongoing problem in my life. I need to save to pay off my upcoming wedding and the “little” things keep adding up and making me broke. I’m used to being broke, because it seems there is always SOMETHING to buy. Right now I have $7.00,
So yesterday I decided it would be a good idea to try and quit smoking.

I have quit before, and it was hard. It always is.

I made it until 10:00 AM today.

If you’re a non smoker do not judge me. It is an addiction, and not only that but it is a part of my identity. I am a smoker, and I have been for several years. I don’t remember what it was like not to wake up and smoke, to take my breaks outside… even in the coldest winter months, to always have them with me. They are like little friends, who bring me relief and a happy dizzy feeling.

So with all that said, I’ve decided to cut back… extremely. I used to smoke a pack a day, and now I’m going to monitor how much I smoke and update at the end of the week.

Lessons Learned

So today I got my very first free credit report. I’ve seen my score before but never seen the whole report. Let’s just say I never wanted to see it before because I used to have this problem with shopping. I had no money when I was 18 and shopped out my emotional problems and stress, then when my credit cards were maxed instead of thinking “hey I should pay these off” I just opened new ones, and so on and so forth. Then when I stopped shopping all my money went to the credit cards, so I needed to use them for basic living needs like toilet paper and groceries.

Needless to say, it got out of hand. Fast forward 3 years of credit card usage and abusage and here I am today. I kicked the credit card habit, and no longer use ANY. I am of coarse still paying for my mistakes. Although I am happy to announce when looking at my credit report I do not feel sad, but empowered. I now know that credit cards are evil in the hands of a girl like me. And if I ever forget I have the next 7 years of payments (hopefully less) to remind me.